Dodge Grand Caravan. Teen trauma and ingratitude revisited. Drove a blue incarnation of this in high school. Manual transmission and myriad physical deformities thanks to the wonderful driving skills of myself and the three siblings to abuse it before me. Admittedly, I take most of the credit.

Fetishistic scopophilia in oil and encaustic wax.

A simple Google search for “How to get more Twitter followers” garnered 44,600,000 results. Wow, in my amateur eagerness to engage with the Twittersphere I had already broken the number one rule: Never follow more people than are following you. My 151 followers vs. 2000 followed, sent me unknowingly into the depths of loserdom, impossible to escape unless I unloaded some of my “friends.”